We are psychologically and neurologically wired for bonding and connection- we literally don’t survive without them. Connectedness and a solid bond between partners makes a marriage/relationship a safe, secure place to express our desires, resolve problems effectively, and make plans together. A solid relationship should be a safe haven, and when the qualities above go missing, it doesn’t feel like one. Instead, we’re left questioning whether we matter to our partner the way want to, and feeling like we can’t fully be our authentic self in our most important relationship. The right help can make a relationship deeper and stronger than it ever has been- with lasting results.
Relationship expert Dr. Sue Johnson describes warning signs that a relationship is in trouble and what can be done to prevent it from falling apart.
Working with couples is a specialty. I am an ICEEFT Certified Emotionally Focused Couple Therapist and Supervisor with extensive training in work with distressed couples. This certification is a rigorous one wherein I have completed hours of direct practice supervision and demonstrated my ability to implement the EFT therapy model consistently, with actual couples. Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy is a cost-effective and well researched approach that helps partners get to the root cause of what leaves them feeling tentative, distant, disconnected sexually, and alone- and to find a way back in to one another. It is effective therapy for couples who have experienced affairs or other betrayals.
EFT is an active therapy process that strengthens bonds and connection through the in-session experience of expressing and responding to underlying feelings that drive either complaints, criticism and blaming, or shut-down and withdrawal behaviors in relationship. It’s these behaviors that create negative patterns of relating that take over the actual discussions we’re trying to have about the real thing we’re fighting for: to feel the secure bond that is the foundation of a connected, joyful relationship. My goal is to give each of you, together, a new way of understanding and moving beyond these negative patterns that are standing in the way of feeling more open and trusting, and like you can turn toward one another for comfort and connection.
Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples differs from some other couple therapies in important ways:
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- EFT is an effective, research based therapy. No provider, myself included, can fully assure results of an intervention, but research on EFT demonstrates 70% of couples display lasting recovery from marital distress and more than 90% report significant improvement.
- EFT for couples is consistent with my own clinical values and style of not judging, attempting to understanding as deeply as possible and very importantly, of not choosing sides (a major complaint regarding couple counseling).
- EFT helps foster each partner’s authenticity, autonomy and personal effectiveness by making the relationship a “secure base” for individual experience.
Call me and I’ll be happy to discuss what’s going on for you and how we can address it in a course of therapy.
