(NOTE: I will be resuming Discernment Counseling Sessions when safety conditions allow in-person sessions to resume.) It’s estimated that 30% of couples who start therapy have a “mixed-agenda.” That is, one of the partners is leaning out of the relationship, maybe even on the brink of leaving, while the other is leaning in, hoping to make it work. In some of these cases meaningful help is held back because the therapist is uncertain what to do if both partners don’t clearly want therapy. In some other cases a half-hearted attempt at couple therapy is launched, with unsatisfactory results for each partner.
Helping the “mixed-agenda” couple gain clarity and confidence in their decision making about the future of the their marriage is critically important in these cases. If you and your spouse or partner are in this place you also need a better understanding of your prospects for reconciliation. Clarity, confidence and perspective based on a deeper understanding of what has happened to your marriage are the primary goals of Discernment Counseling. In short, Discernment Counseling (DC) provides an opportunity for couples to look at their options before making a final decision about divorce.
I have extensive experience helping couples on the brink and am a Certified Discernment Counselor. The process involves a limited number of sessions, working with each partner and the couple together. Discernment Counseling is not the beginning of couple / marriage therapy; it’s a way for partners to determine whether to undergo a whole-hearted effort to make the relationship as good as it can be, to keep things the way they are (this usually isn’t an option for couples where one partner is leaning out of the relationship), or to proceed down the path of moving apart. The session length and fee structure for Discernment Counseling is different from couple / marriage therapy. You can learn more about Discernment Counseling at this site: http://discernmentcounseling.com, and by contacting me.
