Find the right couple therapist near you

Knowing how to find the right couples therapist near you can be difficult. Only a small number of therapists in the United States who do couple therapy have actually undergone proper training in the art of couple therapy. As a matter of fact, many therapists who claim to be adept at working with couples are simply applying techniques they learned for individual therapy to the complexities of a couples dynamic, which often falls short.

Given the soaring rates of couples parting ways in modern times, securing effective couple therapy of high quality has become an absolute necessity. With this in mind, having a way to identify the right couple therapist near you is paramount. The therapists at our counseling office in Reno, NV will take the time to answer questions for you during our free phone consultation. Until then, here are helpful questions to consider.

Here is a checklist based on the writing of Dr. Mark Kaupp, an expert couple therapist, of inquiries to pose to a potential couple therapist during the evaluation phase:

1. Have you received training specific to couples therapy? If yes, what were the specific training tiles and what was their focus? This will give you a better understanding of the therapists clarity regarding their qualifications.

2. In the past year, how many couples have you engaged with in your practice and do you regularly seek professional consultation in your work with couples? This question helps ascertain the therapists experience and level of engagement with couples.

3. What theoretical approach guides your understanding of couples? There are two widely recognized theoretical perspectives tailored for couples: Attachment Theory (Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT)) and IMAGO therapy. Without a theoretical framework, the therapist might lack direction in working with the couple, potentially wasting valuable time and resources.

4. Do you focus on improving communication skills? Be cautious here. If the therapist answers in the affirmative without further explanation, there could be issues. Research indicates that teaching couples basic communication techniques like using & statements doesn't address the core problem—trust. Communication is intricately tied to trust; without trust, words fall on deaf ears. Trust is a function of more than saying the right thing at the right time.

5. Do you sometimes work with each individual in the couple separately? The exceptions aside (e.g., domestic violence, untreated trauma, active substance abuse), couple therapy generally involves both partners. Isolating them should be reserved for assessment purposes, not routine practice.

6. How do you ensure impartiality? This question unravels the therapist's perspective on the couples dynamics. Are they viewing the couple as two individuals triggering reactions in each other, thus creating a cycle of impact? Couples function as interlocking mechanisms, and any change in one inevitably affects the other.

7. Do you perceive a couple as an Emotional Bond or a negotiable contract? Therapists who assign tasks like going on more dates or distributing household chores are overlooking the underlying issue. It's not about the superficial tasks; it's about the emotional bond between partners. When this bond weakens, distress ensues. Attempting to reinforce the bond without directly addressing its weakening misses the core concern. Expert, Dr. Sue Johnson says, “it’s about the bond, not a bargain.”

Seeking a capable couple therapist requires careful consideration and inquiry. By posing these questions you can better understand their approach, philosophy, and suitability for your unique situation. We are happy to answer your questions. Call for a no-cost, confidential consultation.