What Happens in Couples Therapy? Here’s What to Expect

couples therapy Reno, NV, couple outdoors, romantic

What to Expect in Couples Therapy: A Path to Clarity and Healing

If you and your partner are considering couples therapy in Reno, you might have some questions about what it’s like, what to expect, and how it can help. At its core, couples therapy is about strengthening your relationship and helping you both feel more connected. In this article, I provide a brief overview of the process, focusing on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)—a highly researched, non-judgmental and effective approach to strengthening and healing relationship.

Expect Respect and Honoring of Your Values

Very importantly, you will be met with respect for your personal and shared views and values. Our therapists have expertise in helping couples experience reaching to one another in a heartfelt, connected way. But we are humble, because you are the expert in your unique relationship and what you want for it. In this sense, we’re like highly-trained consultants helping you move toward your goals. Our therapists will guide, advise and direct- but they will never tell you what to do.

You should never feel judged or “ganged up on.” My colleagues and I continually monitor our working alliance with you. It’s critical for us to know and make a correction when one of our clients doesn’t feel like we’re getting them.


What Is Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples?

EFT is a type of couples therapy grounded in the science of attachment, which describes how we bond with one another. Attachment science also describes what can happen when bonds rupture. It’s based on the idea that emotional connection is key to feeling accepted and cared for, and this in turn leads to lasting, fulfilling relationship. During EFT sessions, we’ll work together to identify and change patterns that keep you and your partner feeling disconnected. This isn’t about blame; instead, it’s about understanding each other’s needs and learning how to respond with care and compassion.

Expect EFT to focus on:

  • Helping each partner feel safe and supported.
  • Encouraging open, honest emotional communication.
  • Building a secure foundation for lasting change.

With EFT, you’ll learn to shift from reacting in frustration or silence to reaching out in a way that helps your partner feel seen and valued. The goal is that partners begin to experience their importance to one another. Further, that this importance is what drives heightened reactions to feeling disconnected.


What Happens in a Couples Therapy Session? A High Level View

In your first session, we’ll discuss what brought you both to therapy and what you hope to achieve. Don’t worry—there’s no “right” way to start. I’ll guide the process, and together, we’ll create a comfortable, respectful space for each of you to share your perspective. You’ll leave this session with a high-level map for our upcoming work together.

Here’s a typical structure for couples therapy sessions:

  1. Identify Relationship Patterns: We’ll uncover the cycles that lead to conflict or distance. Understanding these patterns helps you both feel less stuck.
  2. Practice New Ways of Communicating: You’ll have the chance to learn and practice new communication skills, often in the form of guided conversations.
  3. Develop a Deeper Connection: Through honest, vulnerable conversations, you’ll work towards feeling more secure and connected.

Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFCT) is a structured and collaborative process designed to help you and your partner repair and strengthen your emotional connection. It’s grounded in the understanding that most relationship struggles stem from feelings of disconnection, hurt, or fear that often go unspoken or misunderstood.

Zooming in on the Couple Therapy Process

  1. Understanding Your Relationship Patterns
    In the early sessions, we’ll work together to uncover the recurring patterns of interaction that may be keeping you stuck. Often, couples find themselves in cycles of conflict, withdrawal, or miscommunication that lead to frustration and distance. We’ll identify these cycles and help you see them as the shared challenge to overcome—rather than blaming one another.
  2. Exploring the Emotions Beneath the Conflict
    EFT focuses on the emotional experiences that drive your interactions. You’ll both have the chance to safely explore and express deeper feelings—such as fear of rejection, loneliness, or longing for closeness—that may be hidden behind anger or frustration. This can be a powerful step toward understanding and validating each other in a new way.
  3. Rebuilding Trust and Security
    As the therapy progresses, you’ll practice turning toward one another with greater vulnerability and openness. With support, you’ll learn how to respond to each other’s needs for comfort, reassurance, and connection, creating a sense of safety in the relationship.
  4. Creating New Patterns of Connection
    The ultimate goal of EFT is to help you and your partner build new, healthier patterns of communication that foster closeness and resolve conflicts in a way that brings you closer together. These skills will help you navigate future challenges as a team, with a stronger foundation of trust and emotional intimacy.

For more on these sessions flow, explore our page about couples therapy here.


How Long Does it Take to See Results?

Everyone’s starting point and experience are unique, but most couples notice positive changes within the first few sessions. With EFT, it’s been my experience that significant shifts have occurred after about 8–12 sessions, depending on the issues at hand. Along the way, partners build trust in each other and confidence in your ability to work through challenges together. A full course of therapy with my colleagues and I is usually in the neighborhood of 18-24 sessions, spread out over time. That said, most of the couples I work with continue periodic meetings in order to have a place to work through impasses, and very importantly, to reinforce successes.


Ready to Take the Next Step in Your Relationship?

Couples therapy can be a powerful way to rebuild and strengthen your connection. If you’re ready to explore how EFT can help, reach out to schedule a session. Visit www.csheehanjr.com to get started. Taking this step shows courage and a commitment to your relationship. Let’s work together to create the relationship you both want and deserve. You can schedule a free couples therapy consultation by calling 775-235-2205.

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Starting Therapy With Us: What to Expect?

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Getting Started with Therapy in Reno: What You Need to Know

Are you thinking about getting started with therapy in Reno but feeling unsure about what to expect? In this video, Cornelius Sheehan, Director of Individual & Relationship Counseling Associates, offers a straightforward introduction to the process. We want to help you feel more comfortable as you consider taking the first step toward therapy.


What’s Covered in the Video:

  1. How to Begin Therapy in Reno
    • A simple guide to getting started, including how to schedule your first appointment and what happens after you reach out.
    • Cornelius shares insights into how we match clients with therapists who fit their unique needs.
  2. Your First Session
    • What you can expect during that first meeting, including how we focus on creating a supportive and nonjudgmental space.
    • A brief look at how we work together to explore your goals and concerns.
  3. Who We Help
    • Whether you’re struggling with anxiety, depression, or stress, or facing challenges in your relationship, therapy can help.
    • Cornelius explains how our practice supports individuals and couples using approaches like Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT).
  4. Why Therapy Matters
    • A candid reflection on how taking that first step, even if it feels daunting, can lead to meaningful growth and healing.
    • Therapy isn’t about having all the answers upfront—it’s about exploring what matters most to you, at your own pace.

Why Individual & Relationship Counseling Associates?

We know starting therapy can feel like a big step, and we aim to make the process as welcoming and approachable as possible. Cornelius and the team at Individual & Relationship Counseling Associates believe in meeting you where you are, offering evidence-based methods in a compassionate, judgment-free space.


How to Get Started

If you’re ready to take the first step, here’s how to begin:

  1. Visit our website to learn more about our services and therapists.
  2. Contact us by phone or through our online form to set up your first session.
  3. Let us support you on this journey toward healing and connection.

Watch the Video

In this video, Cornelius Sheehan answers the question, “How do I get started with therapy in Reno?” You’ll find clear, straightforward information to help you decide if our practice is the right fit for you.


If you’re exploring therapy and have questions about how it works, this video can help you get a better sense of the process. At Individual & Relationship Counseling Associates, we’re here to support you every step of the way—whether you’re seeking individual care, help for your relationship, or simply a place to talk.

If you’re ready to reach out, we’d love to hear from you. Give us a call at 775-235-2205 or send an appointment request. We’ll answer any questions you have and get you pointed in the right direction.

Will Our Relationship Counselor Tell Us What to Do?

Cornelius Sheehan, LCSW does couples and marriage counseling in reno, nv. He is founder / director of therapy in Reno, NV practice: Individual & Relationship Counseling Associates. Reno, NV Specialist in Couple counseling

Will Our Therapist Tell Us What to Do?

At Individual & Relationship Counseling Associates, we understand that considering starting therapy can leaves people wondering things like, “Will our therapist tell us what to do?” Our experience is that this is one of the reasons people don’t start therapy. They worry that therapy will be about the therapist’s agenda or the therapist making a judgement call. The short answer to this question at our practice is NO, our therapists won’t tell you what to do. Instead, we believe in a collaborative approach to therapy that respects your role as the expert on your own life.

Our team of therapists combines professional training with a deep understanding of emotional and relational dynamics. Rather than providing directives or instructions, we focus on helping you explore your emotions, thoughts, and relational patterns. This process allows us to uncover areas that might not be immediately apparent to you and to provide insights and perspectives that can support meaningful change.

The Importance of Therapy as a Collaborative Process

Every individual and relationship is unique. What works for one couple or individual might not work for another. That’s why our approach emphasizes collaboration—we work together with you to clarify your goals, understand your challenges, and identify the best path forward.

This means that instead of prescribing solutions, we’ll help you gain the clarity and tools to take actions and make decisions that align with your values and needs.

For example:

  • We’ll work with you to uncover interaction patterns that might be keeping you stuck, such as cycles of conflict or emotional withdrawal.
  • We’ll help you explore underlying emotional needs and fears, often shaped by past attachment experiences, and how they play out in your relationships.

Our Role as Your Therapists

Think of us as guides and facilitators. We provide the structure and tools to help you connect with your emotions and each other more effectively, but we won’t take over as decision-makers in your life. Our job is to present options, insights, and new ways of understanding, while you decide how to move forward.

For instance, our therapists might:

  • Map out emotional patterns in your relationship to help you better understand triggers and responses.
  • Guide conversations to create a safe space for expressing deeper emotions and needs.
  • Introduce attachment principles to strengthen your bond and provide frameworks for connection and repair.

Why This Works Better Than Being Told What to Do

Lasting change comes from experience, not external instructions. When you’re actively involved in the process—discovering your own insights and solutions—you’re more likely to make changes that are authentic and sustainable. We create this kind of experiential therapeutic process.

We recognize that life is complex, and only you can fully understand the nuances of your situation. By focusing on your unique strengths and insights, we help you build the confidence to address challenges in a way that fits your life, goals, values and worldview.

A Safe and Supportive Space

At Individual & Relationship Counseling Associates, our goal is to provide a safe and supportive environment where you feel empowered to make the best choices for yourself. While we won’t tell you what to do, we’ll work with you every step of the way, offering guidance, tools, and compassionate understanding to help you navigate challenges and build a stronger connection with yourself and your loved ones.

If you’re ready to explore this collaborative approach to therapy, reach out to us today. Together, we’ll help you gain the clarity and connection you need to move forward. Our Care Coordinator is available at 775-235-2205.

Meet Cornelius Sheehan, LCSW- Director and Therapist

Cornelius Sheehan, LCSW does couples and marriage counseling in reno, nv. He is founder / director of therapy in Reno, NV practice: Individual & Relationship Counseling Associates. Reno, NV Specialist in Couple counseling

Counseling with Reno Therapist Cornelius Sheehan, LCSW

About me as a therapist:

For more than 20 years, I have worked with couples and individuals. I understand how important it is to have a secure, connected, and hopeful relationship. I specialize in attachment-based, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for marriages, couples, families, and individuals in Reno. Presently, I am certified as an Emotionally Focused Therapist and Supervisor. I use primarily EFT in my work with couples, individuals, and families. The primary things I appreciate about EFT are its effectiveness, research-based approach, and strong theoretical foundation.

A few years ago, I started Individual & Relationship Counseling Associates in Reno, NV. A small, collaborative therapy group dedicated to excellence in attachment-focused therapy.

I have had the privilege of helping hundreds of couples and families repair ruptures and connect again. Along the way, helping many people become more self-aware and accepting. I’ve supported them in dealing with depression, anxiety, and relationship problems.

Attachment theory’s empathy, curiosity, and non-judgmental stance align with my natural style. Although I bring expertise in therapy, you are the expert on your life and goals. Thus, I commit to approaching our work together with humility and curiosity.

One of my proudest achievements is starting a counseling program for inmates at the Washoe County Sheriff’s Office in 2004. We developed a novel and highly successful program to help reduce recidivism, especially for “failure to comply” violations. The program was funded by inmate purchases. I actively participated in these programs until 2011, when I dedicated myself full-time to private practice.

Another accomplishment that has brought me a lot of joy has been mentoring students and interns, guiding them to find their unique paths as professionals in the field of therapy.

About me as a person:

I always remember being profoundly curious about people and relationships. We are all so complex, with so much happening beneath the surface.

I find this complexity fascinating. I feel lucky that my interest has guided me to a profession I love. Moreover, it motivates me to stay current with changes in the field.

My wife Tammy and I live with our three rescue dogs. We have three adult children. Born in San Francisco, I have lived briefly in a few different places, but Reno has always remained home base.

For years, I’ve had “boots on the ground” involvement with many facets of the mental health care needs of our community. This has provided me a rounded perspective about the particular relationship counseling needs of people in our local community.

Learn more about therapy in Reno with Cornelius

You can inquire about counseling in Reno with Cornelius Sheehan, LCSW and our team of highly-trained EFT therapists here. Call us at 775-235-2205 and we’ll be happy to discuss how we can help. Sessions with Cornelius range from $185 to $210 for 55-min and $275 for 90-minutes. Insurances accepted include Hometown Health Plan. Two-day weekend intensive sessions are available (call for details).

Cornelius Sheehan LCSW, Clinical Director and expert attachment therapist. Therapy in Reno, NV. July 2024 photo.
Cornelius Sheehan, LCSW

Cornelius is invested in Reno and Nevada:

Since 1974, I have resided in Reno, deeply committed to this community. I attended Reno High School and UNR. I actively participate in various advisory roles for Reno and the State of Nevada.

Additionally, I founded Relationship Health Counseling Associates to enhance services for clients in this area and provide highest quality professional development for therapist interns in Reno.

Cornelius specializes in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT for couples, individuals and families). He supervisors clinical interns and candidates for EFT Certification. He is the Founder / Director of rceft.org, the Reno/Tahoe Community for Emotionally Focused Therapy. You can learn more about EFT at rceft.org and iceeft.com. ICEEFT is the International Center for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy.

Nevada License Number: 5605-C

Cornelius works with clients aged 18-years and older, and children in the context of family therapy.

Cornelius’s Specialties and Expertise

Top Specialties

  • Relationship Issues
  • Anxiety
  • Depression

Expertise

  • Certified Emotionally Focused Therapist
  • Divorce
  • Family Conflict
  • Marital and Premarital
  • Cancer
  • Grief
  • Infidelity
  • Internet Addiction
  • Lesbian
  • Men’s Issues
  • Mood Disorders
  • Parenting
  • Peer Relationships
  • Self Esteem
  • Veterans