What Happens in Couples Therapy? Here’s What to Expect
What to Expect in Couples Therapy: A Path to Clarity and Healing
If you and your partner are considering couples therapy in Reno, you might have some questions about what it’s like, what to expect, and how it can help. At its core, couples therapy is about strengthening your relationship and helping you both feel more connected. In this article, I provide a brief overview of the process, focusing on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)—a highly researched, non-judgmental and effective approach to strengthening and healing relationship.
Expect Respect and Honoring of Your Values
Very importantly, you will be met with respect for your personal and shared views and values. Our therapists have expertise in helping couples experience reaching to one another in a heartfelt, connected way. But we are humble, because you are the expert in your unique relationship and what you want for it. In this sense, we’re like highly-trained consultants helping you move toward your goals. Our therapists will guide, advise and direct- but they will never tell you what to do.
You should never feel judged or “ganged up on.” My colleagues and I continually monitor our working alliance with you. It’s critical for us to know and make a correction when one of our clients doesn’t feel like we’re getting them.
What Is Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples?
EFT is a type of couples therapy grounded in the science of attachment, which describes how we bond with one another. Attachment science also describes what can happen when bonds rupture. It’s based on the idea that emotional connection is key to feeling accepted and cared for, and this in turn leads to lasting, fulfilling relationship. During EFT sessions, we’ll work together to identify and change patterns that keep you and your partner feeling disconnected. This isn’t about blame; instead, it’s about understanding each other’s needs and learning how to respond with care and compassion.
Expect EFT to focus on:
- Helping each partner feel safe and supported.
- Encouraging open, honest emotional communication.
- Building a secure foundation for lasting change.
With EFT, you’ll learn to shift from reacting in frustration or silence to reaching out in a way that helps your partner feel seen and valued. The goal is that partners begin to experience their importance to one another. Further, that this importance is what drives heightened reactions to feeling disconnected.
What Happens in a Couples Therapy Session? A High Level View
In your first session, we’ll discuss what brought you both to therapy and what you hope to achieve. Don’t worry—there’s no “right” way to start. I’ll guide the process, and together, we’ll create a comfortable, respectful space for each of you to share your perspective. You’ll leave this session with a high-level map for our upcoming work together.
Here’s a typical structure for couples therapy sessions:
- Identify Relationship Patterns: We’ll uncover the cycles that lead to conflict or distance. Understanding these patterns helps you both feel less stuck.
- Practice New Ways of Communicating: You’ll have the chance to learn and practice new communication skills, often in the form of guided conversations.
- Develop a Deeper Connection: Through honest, vulnerable conversations, you’ll work towards feeling more secure and connected.
Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFCT) is a structured and collaborative process designed to help you and your partner repair and strengthen your emotional connection. It’s grounded in the understanding that most relationship struggles stem from feelings of disconnection, hurt, or fear that often go unspoken or misunderstood.
Zooming in on the Couple Therapy Process
- Understanding Your Relationship Patterns
In the early sessions, we’ll work together to uncover the recurring patterns of interaction that may be keeping you stuck. Often, couples find themselves in cycles of conflict, withdrawal, or miscommunication that lead to frustration and distance. We’ll identify these cycles and help you see them as the shared challenge to overcome—rather than blaming one another. - Exploring the Emotions Beneath the Conflict
EFT focuses on the emotional experiences that drive your interactions. You’ll both have the chance to safely explore and express deeper feelings—such as fear of rejection, loneliness, or longing for closeness—that may be hidden behind anger or frustration. This can be a powerful step toward understanding and validating each other in a new way. - Rebuilding Trust and Security
As the therapy progresses, you’ll practice turning toward one another with greater vulnerability and openness. With support, you’ll learn how to respond to each other’s needs for comfort, reassurance, and connection, creating a sense of safety in the relationship. - Creating New Patterns of Connection
The ultimate goal of EFT is to help you and your partner build new, healthier patterns of communication that foster closeness and resolve conflicts in a way that brings you closer together. These skills will help you navigate future challenges as a team, with a stronger foundation of trust and emotional intimacy.
For more on these sessions flow, explore our page about couples therapy here.
How Long Does it Take to See Results?
Everyone’s starting point and experience are unique, but most couples notice positive changes within the first few sessions. With EFT, it’s been my experience that significant shifts have occurred after about 8–12 sessions, depending on the issues at hand. Along the way, partners build trust in each other and confidence in your ability to work through challenges together. A full course of therapy with my colleagues and I is usually in the neighborhood of 18-24 sessions, spread out over time. That said, most of the couples I work with continue periodic meetings in order to have a place to work through impasses, and very importantly, to reinforce successes.
Ready to Take the Next Step in Your Relationship?
Couples therapy can be a powerful way to rebuild and strengthen your connection. If you’re ready to explore how EFT can help, reach out to schedule a session. Visit www.csheehanjr.com to get started. Taking this step shows courage and a commitment to your relationship. Let’s work together to create the relationship you both want and deserve. You can schedule a free couples therapy consultation by calling 775-235-2205.
